Today I received a random comment from one of my co-worker with regards to my choice to be a working mom. Also, she asked me when I would consider having a second child?
To be kind, I answered her when the time is right. Also, about the working mom part I chose not to reply because well, silence is golden. HOWEVER, I do have my own views.
Number 1, I was not born rich. I come from an average family. Stay at home mom does not mean the best mom. Stay at home mom also does not mean you have the closest bond with your child. I would LOVE to stay all day at home with my girl but circumstances do not allow me to have that.
The standard of living in Singapore is VERY expensive. For a 2 year old toddler:
- One big tin of milk is SGD$75/week (My girl loves her milk)
- One pampers is about $25/week
- Soon, she will be in Pre-Nursery. Right now, she is in playgroup. $520/month.
- Her Snacks & Food – ?
- Her Medication if needed ($100/clinic visit here. YES)
This does not include Bills, Groceries & HDB Loan. The lady who commented was 50 years old. Of course, it was better in the past to be a stay at home mom. The past and present are very different… In the past, things were cheaper. WAY cheaper. Over here @ SG, we don’t do the rental thing. We purchase a flat and take a housing loan. So, we have to work in order to afford…
Even though I am a working mom, I spend a lot of time with her after work. We do reading together. I give her a warm bath. I massage her. I play with her. I hug her before bed. I kiss her before bed. I let her fall asleep on top of me. She knows I love her because I say to her I love you everyday.
The next question was why not have 2nd? I would love to but like I said, my husband works shift. I would love for my child to have a good environment with lots of love and care. We have the responsibility to bring up our child well. If we can’t afford it, don’t force ourselves. She says siblings will be close and they have friends. YES true to an extent but if you look at the kids now… Are the siblings really close at all? Are you even sure of that? It depends on a few families but not all. Everyone can put a facade of a happy family but who would admit if the family is truly happy or not?
I will have a number 2 someday but it depends on how things go. I will not have the child just because people are asking me. I have to be sure first whether my hubby and I can be equal to both and can love both with all our hearts.
Also, I must have time for both my husband and I. But just wanted to share the post because I find that people should truly understand a person’s lifestyle before commenting.
I was guilty at first but deep inside my heart, I know that I am doing what’s best for my family and the decisions are not selfish but only for the best for my family.